what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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