Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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