Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
