With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
