i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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