All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
