when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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