My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
