Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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