Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
