I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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