If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
