alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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