The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
