Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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