Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
