nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
