i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
