I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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