i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
