those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
