Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
