So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
