I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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