Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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