If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Drunk is not a location!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
