Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
