You made me cry and you don't even care
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Success! We fucked roommates!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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