I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
