So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
