I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
