its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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