dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
