What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
