I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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