"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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