Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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