Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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