Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
