Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
