Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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