I want to walk on stilts...naked
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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