The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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