i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
