u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
