i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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