8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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