sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
