Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I can't put those talents on a resume
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
