I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
