will power is for people who don't want to get laid
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
