I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
